


maybe the night

by jenren



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenren/pseuds/jenren
Summary: the story of losing someone and hoping to mend what they've lost.





	maybe the night

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, i apologize if this is so lacking esp with the halloween theme. i tried to finish it on time but i had so much stuff to do at work. i did not give justice to the prompt and i'm really, really sorry about that. also, this is heavily inspired by a local movie i've watched so underlying scenes are definitely inspired from the movie. also, i love noren so much aND IM SO SORRY FOR THIS MESS.

“Bro, are you gonna murder someone? Stop glaring at them.” Donghyuck nudges Jeno’s side, noticing how Jeno’s eyes are reduced to angry slits as he metaphorically throws daggers at the two boys chatting animatedly at the porch.

Jeno did not take his eyes away from the two despite his friend’s warning. How could he when some boy named Mark Lee (is the name Donghyuck told him earlier) has one arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s,  _ ex-boyfriend’s _ , waist like it’s his property. He knows he should not feel jealous about the scene before him but he hates it because that should be him making Renjun laugh; that should be him wrapping his arms around Renjun’s lithe frame; that should be him wearing matching couple halloween costumes and not that stupid seagull Mark Lee.

“Seriously, Lee Jeno. Stop that. You’re scaring everyone.” Donghyuck warns him again as he gives him a look. “Do you want to start a fight?”

Jeno sighs and heeds Donghyuck’s advice. He tears his eyes away from Renjun and Mark, who were both laughing at something the other said, and makes a beeline to the bar, following Donghyuck behind.

It’s the time of the year again where his older brother hosts a stupid Halloween party for him and his circle of friends. Jeno thinks Halloween parties (complete with the over-the-top Halloween costumes) is plain stupid. They are not kids anymore who would get excited over dressing up as ghosts or any of their favorite fictional characters but then, that’s just him and his grumpy ass. His brother thinks Jeno lost the enthusiasm of a kid in him.

He sees Jaehyun from the corner of his eye and Jeno tried not to gag at how his brother was sucking out the soul of his Chinese boyfriend through their mouths, ignoring everyone in the room as they were both lost in their own world. His vampire costume somewhat helps him conceal his making out session with his boyfriend but not to Jeno. 

Jeno feels a throbbing headache is coming on his way when his bestfriend, Jaemin, sits on a stool beside him. Jaemin shakes his head seeing how pathetic Jeno looks for the night with his messy vampire costume (that his brother had gotten him so they can cosplay as the vampire bros) that screams ‘ _ I’m a lonely vampire. Leave me alone’ _ . He does not need two of his best friends to remind him how miserable he looks that night.

“Dude, I can hear you whining from 3 meters away.” Jaemin states, sipping from his freshly opened can of beer.

“Tell me about it.” Donghyuck mutters, sipping from his drink and winces when the alcohol burns his throat. “I swear to  _ god _ . Jaehyun-hyung… His taste in alcohol is inversely proportional to his handsome face.”

Jaemin shrugs, “Obviously he can’t take all the good things in the world so…”

By the time Donghyuck and Jaemin had broached the topic about Jaehyun and his pretty Chinese boyfriend, Jeno had already tuned them out, opting to let his thoughts wander to the memory of Renjun and Mark acting all lovey-dovey in the living room earlier. And they had the audacity to wear matching couple outfits. Renjun is dressed up as Chihiro Ogino (“Who?” Donghyuck asked when Jeno ranted to him how Renjun looks so cute with his costume. “ _ One of the lead characters in Spirited Away you fool. _ ” Donghyuck grimaces, “Figures. You’re both fucking weebs.”) and Mark as Haku. Jeno frowns in distaste because Renjun and Mark actually looked cute together but he won’t ever admit that out loud.

It’s been nine months since Jeno broke up with Renjun. And since then Jeno kept thinking if he made the right decision to end things with his then boyfriend. Jeno thought he could not be a good boyfriend to Renjun anymore as he could not give Renjun the love and attention he deserves. He was too busy with soccer practice everyday that his usual after school dates or study sessions with Renjun halted gradually. 

 

He did not reply to Renjun’s good morning or good night texts anymore. He would not even call back when he misses Renjun’s call. And before he knew it, he realized his feelings for Renjun has fizzled out. 

 

Renjun is not oblivious to what’s happening to their relationship. He still tried to salvage what’s left but Jeno thought it would be  best for both of them to end things between them.

 

Renjun had looked at him in the eye, searching for signs in hope that Jeno would not give them up. He found none. 

 

With quivering lips and teary eyes, Renjun tried to remain his composure and bid Jeno goodbye.

 

It was a terrible breakup. 

 

Jeno tried to move on and resume his life before Renjun came to his life but he realized he can’t. He can’t stop thinking about the what ifs in their relationship. Like what if he paid more attention to Renjun? What if he gave Renjun what he deserves? What if he were a better boyfriend? Maybe things would still be okay. Maybe they would still be together and he’d be Renjun’s date in this party and they would probably making out in a corner just like the other couples in the room.

 

Jeno stood up from the bar stool, took his cup and went outside. He mumbled “getting fresh air” to Jaemin and Donghyuck when they asked him where he was going.

 

Leaving the cramped room was something he probably needed at the moment considering the alcohol has been slowly taking effect and is slowly creeping into his blood system. He is not yet drunk but he can feel the slight buzz in his head. His sober self tells him to go somewhere uninhibited by the party-goers where he can sort out his mind.

 

Their backyard is free of any party-goers and Jeno thinks he has found his haven for the night. 

 

Jeno sits on the wooden porch swing as he puts down his almost empty can of beer beside him. He looks up and admires how the sky is littered with tiny dots of what his eyes can see as yellow. He knows stars are not really yellow in color but he believes otherwise. 

 

Yellow.

 

He searched for the meaning of the color yellow once out of curiosity. Yellow is the color of sunshine, happiness, positivity, loyalty and joy. And he thinks that yeah Renjun’s all of that maybe that’s why his surname fits him well. 

 

Jeno closes his eyes for a moment, laying his head on the headrest behind him and tapping his feet on the ground as the chains rock back and forth in a slow rhythmic lull.

 

The noise inside the house is mostly muffled but Jeno can faintly hear a slow country song playing in the background.

 

Jeno scoffs a bit, remembering how his older brother is an old sap with a penchant to romantic soundtracks from rom-com movies he usually watches with his boyfriend that all his parties shift to a mellow mood at the latter part. Jaehyun just wants to make out with Sicheng in a lovey-dovey atmosphere and he won’t even deny that. He loves kissing his boyfriend too much it makes Jeno envious for having no one to make out with. And Jeno bets half of the party attendees are in the same page as his brother as they were probably busy making out with their partners instead of dancing in the dance floor.

 

Good thing he escaped from that place and sought refuge outside. 

 

The cool, crisp air pierces through his vampire costume-cladded body. And he is kind of grateful for his stupid costume for making him warm despite the harsh puffs of cold winds of the late autumn. 

 

Eyes still closed, he hums to the music playing, recognizing the song from one of his favorite folk bands. He and Renjun used to listen a lot of that band’s songs and they have one or two songs they can call their theme song.

 

Jeno hears the backdoor open, momentarily feeling irked at having someone to share his sanctuary of peace. He peeks at the intruder and was surprised when he saw none other than Huang Renjun himself, the reason for his inner turmoil at the moment.

 

“You look like you saw a ghost,” Renjun comments, small smile gracing his pretty plump lips. “Can I sit?” He asks.

 

Jeno nods, taking his can of beer and scooting closer to the other side of the seat to make room for Renjun. The other boy rubs his hands, creating friction to keep his bare hands warm. Jeno’s almost tempted to pull his hands and hold it close to him but remembers he’s not allowed to do that anymore so he holds his beer tighter instead.

 

“So why are you here outside?” Renjun asks, looking at Jeno with genuine curiosity. 

 

Jeno notices how Renjun’s fingers start to play with the hem of his shirt, a habit he does when he’s nervous. 

 

Renjun is nervous? For why though? 

 

“Just thought I needed fresh air. It’s stuffy in there. What about you?” Jeno looks at Renjun inquisitively. “Why are you here?”  _ Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend? _

 

Renjun hums and gives Jeno a small smile, “Same. Gotta sober up a bit.”

 

“You drank?”

 

“A bit.” Renjun raises three of his fingers and giggles. 

 

No wonder Renjun’s out here talking to him. The alcohol probably gave him a bit of courage to approach and talk to Jeno.

 

Jeno feels a small bubble of irritation forming at Renjun’s answer. When they were together he would not let the boy drink more than two bottles of alcohol because if he exceeded that number he would get terrible headache the next morning and he would suffer from diarrhea, going back and forth at the toilet. 

 

Why did Mark Lee even allow Renjun to drink way past his limit? But then he remembers maybe Mark does not know that thing about Renjun yet. Jeno sighs. 

 

“You should not have drank more than two bottles, Injun-ah.” Jeno says, wincing at the realization of using his nickname for Renjun. 

 

Renjun did not seem to mind Jeno’s slip of tongue as his eyes reduces to pretty crescents and laughs heartily. “I see you’re still a nagger, Lee Jeno.”

 

“And you’re still stubborn.” Jeno says while shaking his head, sipping the last of his beer. He crushes the tin can with his hand and throws it to a nearby trash bin. He hears a ‘ _ three points to Lee Jeno _ ’ comment from Renjun when he had easily shoot the trash inside the bin.

 

They fall to a comfortable silence after that with the muffled music playing as their background. Renjun’s fingers are lightly tapping on the armrest beside him while Jeno lightly hums to the music.

 

The song changes after a while and Jeno huffs a little, thinking whoever is in charge of the playlist is a shit. He doubts they are doing this on purpose because his and Renjun’s theme song is playing at the moment.

 

_ I want to lay down by the fire with you _

_ Where souls are glowing, ever warmer too _

_ Your love surrounds me like a lullaby _

_ Singing softly, you are mine oh mine _

 

“Sorry.” Jeno says instead, turning around to face Renjun. 

 

“Sorry for what?”

 

“Sorry for giving you up easily.” Jeno gulps. The words he has always rehearsed in case there is an opportunity to see Renjun again have now become a blur. “Sorry if I wasn’t a good boyfriend to you before. I know we could have make it work but I was so naive and-”

 

Renjun holds up his hand, “Jeno.”

 

The pain in Renjun’s voice made Jeno panic. Making Renjun sad wasn’t his goal when he decided to apologize but that is inevitable considering the pain Renjun had to go through to move on from Jeno. And now here he is, hurting Renjun again.

 

“When we broke up I kept thinking to myself where did I go wrong? Was I not loving enough? Was I lacking?” Renjun sighs, “I have had these questions swirling in my mind after we parted ways. And honestly, I don’t know if I’ve found the answers to that.

 

“Maybe we were too young? We’ve had other priorities other than our relationship and I understand that now. Maybe we were too caught up in the idea of being in love? I don’t know. I let my thoughts consume me thinking about what went wrong or why we didn’t work out. But you know what? I did not regret being with you, Jeno.” Renjun smiles, giving Jeno the tingles in his spine seeing how ethereal Renjun looks when he smiles. 

 

_ Moon has never glowed this color _

_ Hearts have never been this close _

_ I have never been more certain _

_ I will love you 'til we're old _

 

“I guess I could call you my first true love.” Renjun laughs and Jeno thinks he’s so whipped. He misses this so much. He misses Renjun’s eyes disappearing when he smiles too much; he misses Renjun’s voice; he misses  _ Renjun _ . 

 

_ Maybe the night holds a little hope for us, dear _

_ Maybe we might want to settle down, just be near _

_ Stay together here _

 

He lets his gaze linger at Renjun’s beautiful face and Jeno remembers why he fell for Renjun. What is hard not to love about him? He thinks through things and makes logical decisions. He sees the positivity in every situation. He’s too understanding and yet he still took him for granted. 

 

“I love you, Renjun.” 

 

Renjun stops laughing and Jeno’s heart may have also stopped at his stupid non-existent brain to mouth filter. His stupidity never fails to amaze him. 

 

“Jeno.. I…”

 

The backdoor opens again and Mark’s looks like a deer caught in headlights at the scene in front of him. “Renjun?” 

 

Renjun looks at Mark then at Jeno. He sighs before he stands up and goes to Mark’s side, Mark asking him why he’s outside when it’s so cold and he doesn’t have a jacket on. Jeno hears Renjun reply with “Getting some fresh air” before he takes Mark’s outstretched hand and hugging him on his side.

 

“Mark… meet Jeno. My friend.” 

 

_ Friend _ .

 

Mark beams and extends his other hand. “Nice to meet you man.”

 

“Yeah. Same.” Jeno feels his mouth go dry. 

 

“Let’s get you home then, Renjun-ah. I promised your mom I’ll take you home before 12.”

 

Renjun nods and follows Mark to the backdoor but not before he turns to Jeno and smiles at him.

  
  



End file.
